MY BODY ODOUR MUSE

Yuyu and I sat talking about anything exciting that 100 level students sit to talk about as we waited for our lecturer. Other course-mates were scattered about. Some were gisting outside, others rested on the side of the desk laughing, a couple of loners were doing their stuff being alone. The setting was a typical Nigerian University class of disorderliness as we waited for our lecturer. 'Mr O is coming' someone announced. As was expected, everyone began scampering for their seats. This lecturer was a talkative that thought only himself and his family were the righteous ones on earth. Every other person especially the students and specifically girls were all prostitutes. He made sure he pointed that out to us. If you dared to wear a sleeveless dress or dangling earrings. He would do everything within his possible best, which was always in abundant supply, to embarrass and humiliate you. Calling ladies names just to prove how sinful he though we all were and how much none of us could seduce him. The question that never crossed his mind was of all the available lecturers why would any of us even put him in our consideration list, if we had any. Well, that was our concern, whether we had him or not, he made sure we never had him. Period.

'Where did we stop the last time?' he asked. I think that was the last sane comment I heard. Cause every word and sentence that followed suit had to pass through a heavy barricade before getting to my brain. By the time it got to my brain, the information was all jumbled up, I could barely decode or comprehend what was asked or spoken. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't even gasp for air, cause whatever I took in was contaminated. I could barely keep my head up anymore. Neither could Yuyu. You see we were sitting in peace, being besties and trading stories when someone announced Mr.O's arrival. In the midst of the rush and dash for seats, X ran in and sat down beside Yuyu and I. I would understand if you begin to weep for me, cause I can assume you know where I'm going to with this. As I was saying, X ran in and sat beside Yuyu and I. I don't know if X had worn that shirt for a week without washing, or if he picked it from a dump and wore it to class. All I know is nothing clear in words, air or breeze seemed to be coming our way again. Not even Mr. O's usual rant was strong enough to break through this defence of smell. The most painful part was X seemed to  be enjoying the class and kept laughing at whatever the lecturer was saying, all this at our expense. We were pretty new in school and were all getting to know ourselves. This wasn't the right time to start making enemies  by telling him what his innocent dress sense was doing to us. Plus we couldn't dare stand up to change seats. To crown it all we were seated on the very front row directly in front of Mr. O. So that was it. we were stuck, overwhelmed by smell and helpless to it. And yes, that the class was double period. That is about two hours of endurance. 

Well, we survived it. Otherwise I wouldn't be here today, nine years later sharing the experience. When I got home that day I had to write about it. Turned out to be my first article. When everyone expressed excitement towards it, it began to motivate me into exploring my interest for writing. My worse body odour experience turn out to be my muse for writing. I guess when life throws eggs at you, make omelettes out of it. You might be going through a choking life 'body odour'

 experience. Might be choking you and you seem to be gasping for air, If you hold on long enough as Yuyu and I did, you might just come out with your won article of victory and lessons afterwards. 

P.S Lets help ourselves eh. Body odour is also a form of terrorism. So lets be our brother's keeper. Share the word, take your bathe, wear one clothe once and the world will be a healthier and friendlier  place for us all.

X became a big boy with cleaner clothes and babes at his disposal (not like I know anyone in particular). He even ran for political positions in school and won one. All the same I never sat close to him again, consciously and unconsciously.